I was recently on a shoe mission for a client when I overheard a disappointing conversation between one store’s saleswoman and an uninformed shopper. The poor bloke was looking for comfortable and stylin’ summer shoes that were more substantial than a flip flop. The saleswoman placed a driving moc firmly in his hand and said, “These are perfect, they’re driving mocs.” The guy nodded approvingly and then asked, “I do a lot of walking, aren’t these just for the car?” The perky (and at this point either deceitful or negligent) saleswoman reassured him that, “You can wear them everywhere, they’re super comfy walking or driving.”

Indeed the driving moc is very comfortable and a perfect example of relaxed elegance, but it’s absolutely not a durable walking shoe.

Annoyed that this guy was being misled I walked over and asked how many seasons that driving moc would last if used primarily for walking.  She responded with, “Oh a while, they’ll last three or four seasons.” Nope, she wasn’t clueless - just plain old lying.

In truth the answer is:  less than one season. Why? Take a look at the photo above and you can see for yourself, the driving moc is like a slipper. The bottom of the shoe has no sole, no arch support, nothing to protect the soft leather underbelly except for little rubber grippers; and trust me, these little grippers aren’t made from Wolverine’s alloy adamantium.

Better driving mocs will endure a modest amount of pavement, but again they simply are not designed for that purpose.  Go ahead and rock them out to brunch, dinner or whatever light-on-the-trekking, heavy-on-looking-good activity you want. Just know when you’re plunking down the cash for driving mocs they won’t make it into next year if you wear them as your everyday kicks.

When it comes to online dating, men lose out on countless opportunities to meet a quality match simply because they fail to recognize that a grainy, at-the-computer, “bleary eyed after a few beers and givin’ you the look of tough love in my sweatshirt” photo does not send a compelling message. Or at least not the kind of message that anyone would be interested in without first consuming something equivalent to a six pack.

Bedraggled is not desirable except to a very small sector of the population - and you don’t need to spend the money for an online dating service to find them. If you are a good catch (and you know you are) your photo must capture that - because your photo is the first thing a prospective interest will inspect. There is no way she will find out about all those puppies you rescued from a shelter or the senior citizens you read to on the weekend if what she sees first resembles the love child of an ice road trucker and a fashion-challenged (redundant?) football fan. Here are some tips to maximize your odds:

- What’s sexier than a double chin? Take test photos of yourself from different angles to determine an angle that best flatters your features.

- Don’t go it alone. Have a friend help with photos and don’t rush through it, take many shots. Narrow down the favorites by sending them to trusted friends of the opposite sex and have them vote.

- Look out behind you! You want to be the star of the photo so keep the backdrop simple. Don’t photograph yourself with anything that will vie for the viewers’ attention. For indoor shots, make sure the background behind you is tidy. It is not sexy to be photographed in front of the world’s largest beer can pyramid.

- Some clouds definitely have a silver lining:  for outdoor photos, overcast weather - not high sun - make for the best light.

- No fakers allowed. Don’t force your smile. While your friend is snapping away, keep your mind on the things that make your heart light. Your genuine happiness, a highly desirable trait to potential mates, will come across in the photo.

- Ready for inspection? What you wear in your photo is what your potential dates will evaluate - looking for your level of success, your basic nature, and your desirability. Choose attire that is appropriate for a first date and infuses you with confidence. Make sure the fit is good - remember bulky clothing distorts your body and anything too tight is unflattering.

Items not to wear in your profile photo:

- Hat or baseball cap that conceals your face

- Sunglasses - again, the aforementioned face concealment

- Horizontal stripes, plaid or any large print

- Bulky sweater

- Turtleneck

- Anything over-sized or resembling a bowling shirt, ratty jersey, sweatpants, etc…

- Cut-off sweatshirt - if Bill Belichick can’t make it work, you don’t have a prayer

Victor's Secret?

There was a most interesting story in the Metro this week.  After being launched earlier this year, bras for men have been selling out of stock in Japan.

This darkest of Victoria’s Secrets was originally produced in a single color, which clearly doesn’t work for the typical male who needs a variety of lingerie, is now available in three.  Not being able to read Japanese well I can’t guarantee that my wording is 100% correct here, but from just looking at the man bra website, I believe the three colors are:  Why the f*@# are you wearing that black,  Oh no now I need to stab my eyes out pink, and Why does this always happen on my dates white.  Too vanilla for you? There’s also a leopard print.

Show 'em you're a tiger animal print now available with matching panty!

According to Wishroom, the company manufacturing the Men’s Premium Brassiere, the over-the-shoulder-nothing-holder is not being purchased for visual ‘benefit’ but rather for stress relief, “One customer said when he wears a bra he feels he can ‘reset’ his feelings. If something bad happens he puts on a bra and feels he can come back and fight another day.”  Really? What happened to practicing meditation to manage stress?  For the love of all things even remotely rational, if this is happening in a country where more than half of the population practices Zen Buddhism, what hope is there for the rest of us?!

First, bras for men beat out pantyhose for men as the creepiest surprise under a man’s clothes that a woman can find.

Second,  no woman (being the authority on the bra experience) has ever said “I’ve had the most awful day, after I put ON this bra everything will be all better, itchy under-wire take me away!”

Third and perhaps most important,  if you’re a man whose job has become so stressful you’re shopping for a new bra.  Shop for a new job instead.

Lastly, take a moment to appreciate your position, you are not the poor Norwegian model seen here clutching his chest.  Considering that he did not wear a bra during the photo shoot,  he was probably unaware of exactly how this assignment would play out and thinking “I’m the face of Japan’s newest cutting edge chest protecting technology.”  Perhaps something was lost in translation in his modeling contract.

Chances are this summer you will encounter at least one party invitation that calls for “casual chic”. This set of words vexes most men, understandably so, it smacks of paradox,  like alcohol-free beer.

So what does casual chic mean? The look is distinctly relaxed yet intentional rather than just something you threw on,  in essence,  suave. Like James Bond on his day off. Here are a few examples of summer casual chic.

This outfit is from Banana Republic. The driving moc paired with the shorts adds elegance to a summer a look. Fantastic use of layering. Extra points if you can rock the Fedora.

Linen military inspired shirt from Macy's paired with well fitted dark jeans. A nice watch is the perfect accessory.

The combination that brought the casual chic trend front and center, jeans and a blazer. In this outfit, the rope belt continues the comfortable feel of linen shirt and softly structured cotton blazer.

Commuting in the city by bike and looking good doing it has been in the news lately. The NY Times featured a story on just that topic.  While the article gave some good tips, the ’simple’ Dutch bicycle they showcase retails at $1,749 and the model’s outfit adds up to over $5000.  Luckily it’s easy to pull off a stylish bike appropriate look  for a teensy  fraction of that price.

When I was interviewed for Radio Boston on National Public Radio about being a novice biker,  the producer rode his bicycle over to meet me and I was really impressed with his stylish, professional and yet functional attire.  Looking at what he was wearing I would have never guessed he had biked over had I not seen him riding.

As you’ll see, layering is one of the keys to biking comfortably and fashionably so as your body’s temperature changes you can remove or add a layer.

Adam is wearing a black cotton blazer with a light tan stripe by Hugo Boss, purchased on his honeymoon in Italy (light circles on his lapel are Obama pins).  The blazer’s softly tailored construction makes it easy to wear while riding.

Banana Republic makes these jeans. Shoes are from Johnston & Murphy. Socks sold at Sock It To Me.

The under layers: red thermal long sleeve T by American Appeal, black T shirt from Banana Republic.  Bag is made by Alchemy, details below.

This bag by Alchemy is awesome, made from 100% recycled materials it’s waterproof, very sturdy, and has reflectors on the back.

I was walking my dogs when I spotted these merry gents savoring a cigar in style in the park. They were celebrating their graduation from BU’s school of management. In the center is a great example of how to mix black and brown, our graduate is wearing a black suit, white shirt, and his wide silk tie is a deep rich cocoa brown. The brass belt buckle complements the warm tone of the tie. It looks very elegant without an ounce of stuffiness.

On the left is what my client would wear to a concert or low key night out with the guys. The look he was going for was ‘casual cool’. One of the things he liked about the outfit was that it was easy to put together.  Now while the basic white T and jean combination has been an iconic American relaxed cool look for over half a century what’s killing his version of it is the fit of both pieces. The draping T shirt does nothing for his physique along with unflattering Traditional cut jeans, this ensemble lacks any interest.

On the right is a ‘casual cool’ alternative that is just as easy to assemble and much more flattering as well as visually interesting.  I switched out the jeans with a slim cut darker wash version and over the T shirt added military inspired grey, summer weight cotton button down. The lightweight fabric makes the button down shirt just as comfortable to wear as a T shirt plus the collar creates a stronger shoulder line.  Both the dark wash jean and grey button down shirt are from H&M.

This before and after of my client is a great example of how to and how not to wear color.  While the knits above are both purple, there is clearly a difference. On the left, this treacherous turtleneck is a bright purple, reminiscent of too many kid’s characters including Barney and Grimace.  Combined with the high neck line this purple people eater is wearing him rather than the other way around.

On the right the purple is a deeper, significantly less garish tone called plum.  The V neck sweater fits close to the body and compliments his physique, and no one piece in his outfit is screaming for attention.  Both the sweater and jeans are from H&M.

What qualities differentiate a person who is “gutsy” from one who is simply stupid? For example, the woman who recently jumped into a polar bear enclosure is arguably gutsy but without a doubt incredibly stupid.  I had occasion to ponder the issue of where exactly I would fall (pun - which you will see soon) on the gutsy/stupid scale as a very nice person from National Public Radio strapped a ‘bikerophone‘ helmet to my head. At least I wouldn’t be encountering any Polar bears…

Chances are you, like most people, learned how to ride a bike as a child.  I didn’t.  It’s understandable that my parents missed the importance of this childhood skill set while escaping communist Russia and trying to survive in a new country.

In part this quest began as a result of peer pressure.  When people found out I didn’t know how to ride a bicycle the reaction was always the same, disbelief giving way to the sort of pitying look one would give to a three legged puppy.  I certainly didn’t feel deprived.  It had not hindered any of my pursuits.  Biking is one of those skills like learning a foreign language: very easy to pick up during childhood but infinitely more difficult to learn as an adult.  Really, who (except perhaps for the woman who opted to swim with polar bears) doesn’t prefer their body in one complete, unbroken and bruiseless piece?

But then it happened.  Someone came up with an argument that I could not ignore: I could be more effective at image consulting if I rode a bike.  You see, at times I’ve visited up to 30 different stores throughout Boston and Cambridge to find the right pieces for some of my harder to fit clients.  Biking from store to store to pre-screen inventory was simply the quickest transport option.  Darn you logic.

My initial attempts were painful, after getting my balance for the first time  I promptly lost control of the bike, tipped over and ended up face down, bleeding, and partially pinned by the bike.  Undeterred, yet significantly more nervous about getting on the bloodthirsty wheeled beast, I set off to try again.  What followed was a buffet of  falls, swerving wildly into telephone poles, and kissing the pavement.  Not a single square inch of my legs below the knees was not sporting a bruise or a cut.  I hoped to feel like a real badass . . . but really I just felt like a regular ass.

It was a Sunday evening when I finally got it.  Terror turned into exhilaration and I was suddenly actually riding my bike rather than being the soft human cushion that protected it from the hard ground when it fell over.  The following Monday morning I heard that a novice biker was needed for piece WBUR/NPR called “Bike-Friendly Boston“. Here’s where the gutsy-versus-stupid question arises . . .

Thinking this would be a pleasant opportunity to laugh about my experience while in a comfy sound studio I emailed the producer about my maiden bike voyage. He replied promptly and after chatting on the phone we scheduled an interview for later that week, with one unexpected reality showesque surprise.  Instead of a cozy studio, they would strap something called a bikerophone to me and conduct the interview while riding the city streets  and chat comfortably about what makes a novice biker nervous riding in Boston, during rush hour traffic. I fully bought into the myth that once you get your balance on a bike it’s a piece of cake.  As I had been stable and balanced on my last ride, I embraced the challenge.

The morning of the interview feeling the eye of tiger I decided to practice a bit more before we met, that ended with me upside down in my neighbors hedges after sharply swerving to avoid their child.   Hmmm, maybe the myth was not true?  Now the terror set in:  if I could be brought down by a running toddler, what the heck was going to happen to me when an SUV decided to cut me off? Was there any graceful way of getting out of this interview?

I decided to go through with it and it was honestly the scariest thing I’ve done in a long, long time.  Think about this - layered on top of the normal butterflies that come with being interviewed, I had the bonus of having to stay upright on a bike that clearly wished me dead.  It was my goal to ride gracefully while dodging the entire population of downtown Boston and also to sound witty, remember not to swear, all while wearing the bikerophone (aka oversized helmet with a tendency to slide over my eyes,  obliterating my field of vision).  At one point during our ride I had to make the decision between sacrificing myself or an off-leash poodle. The poodle remained unharmed and I managed to land on my feet although the bike did go flying. (For those keeping score Bike 36, Emmi 1)  Now I can rest comfortably knowing that NPR has audio of me muttering things like “don’t hit the people Emmi, don’t hit the people.” The producer was really great and made sure that I was safe.  Never the less after our ride I was extremely grateful it was over until the thought burst through my brain - did I just completely humiliate myself on National Public Radio? Only hearing the finished piece will answer that question.

The great news though? I can’t imagine a more challenging interview with the exception of something Richard Branson would concoct. Any public spot I do from now on is going to be a walk, (and not a bike ride) in the park.